It's been a long time!

Wow, I can't believe that I haven't blogged since December 11th. I'm so sorry! A lot has been going on, but it's no excuse.

Well back I am to vent about my horrible oncologist. Maybe I should start at the beginning. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my overall experience with my medical team was great. My oncologist, Dr. Gullo who had been my Nana's oncologist and saved her life, also took care of me. Needless to say my family loves the guy, especially Nana. I adored my surgeon who was an old family friend by coincidence and my Onc. nurses were amazing. The staff at my treatment facility Hematology Oncology Associates in Syracuse made my life happy during those 8 months of treatment. I know most people can't stand their infusion rooms, but I loved mine. My nurses, who were closer in age to me than the other patients always made me laugh, made me feel pretty and gossiped. Which come on, to a bald 21-year-old girl means the world:).

Fast forward to 2008, I graduate from college and get a job in Boston which means...POOF off Mom and Dad's health plan and forced to get a new oncologist. Because I don't want to get in trouble let's call my onc Dr. Snide... well from the beginning Dr. Snide was no big fan of me. My educated, passion filled self and his science/corny personality did not mix well. He often tends to make comments like, "Well Sarah, when you re-occur" rather than "if you re-occur". And to not worry about my cancer so much, which is something I wish us survivors could do. How wonderful life would be if we could not worry about cancer. I'd say I have a healthy fear of recurrence, I don't walk around expecting it to happen..I just like to know the facts.

My problems with Dr. Snide came to a head when he told me that I was reoccurring in fall 2008. As I walked out of his office that day, with steam blowing out my ears and tears running down my face, my mom, Carlton and I all thought I would be re-entering treatment after having a surgical biopsy the following week. Well it turned out that after waiting 11, YES 11 days to biopsy results (he somehow forgot to call me, I had to page him) Dr. Snide explained in highly scientific language that my cancer wasn't back, that I had some sort of hyperplasia. I hung up the phone and was just shocked..WTF?!?! You told us to expect radiation! Maybe a stem cell? WTF?!

Ok so i tried to give Dr. Snide the benefit of the doubt at this point, maybe he was still warming up to my expectations of my oncology team. But no, alas over the past 6 months he has been truly unproffessional with me. He's phrased things like, " Well Sarah, what do you want to do?" and said things in response to a question like "for lack of an explanation, sure". That's it.

When my dad came to my appt. this fall Dr. Snide was a different guy, much more social, and loved answering my dads generic questions. Steve loves to ask, "Is it fair to say Sarah's in remission?" Dr. Snide: "Yes, Mr. Delaney that's exactly the words to use." He talks to my parents like there numbskulls and it pisses me off. I see through his condescending b.s.

I'm at the end of my rope. I have a swollen lymph node again on the right side of my neck, the same side they biopsied in 2008, which continually shows on PET's. It's starting to be painful and today I had the guts to call Dr. Snide and he said his typical..."well what do you want to do?"

What the F do you think I know that!?!? I'm calling you!!!

It's time for me to get a second opinion, I just don't know how. Any of you with advice, please help.